DOOM PATROL

 D^O_OM
PATROL

Well, the day of Judgment has arrived, and Wastrel didn't score too high.
We got word back from the Gold Coast City Council today, and it's no dice.

I'll quote part of the letter:

The Committee has received three applications for arts magazine projects this round. It is suggested that the three applicants meet to discuss the possibility of developing a partnership to present one combined application.

Well, well, it looks like some pig-fuckers cottoned on to our idea and got their filthy shit-stained applications in on top of ours. Well, fuck them in their crusty, unlubricated arses (not asses). The bandwagon looked pretty cosy didn't it, you unoriginal pieces of shit?

Actually, a partnership might not be so bad, but this Wastrel truly doubts that these other non-coms can keep up with the hectic pace that the staff at Wastre keep. Can they hit their deadlines while downing scotch after scotch?
Can they touch-type with a cigarette in one hand?!
Can they submit to an editorial decision after losing at scissor-paper-rock?!?

Bah! I think not!

Anyway, enough chit-chat. I have scotch to drink and scams to scheme, and Wastrel has an entire digital realm to overtake, now that the print world is out-of-bounds for a short while.

Oh, and don't worry, we'll keep you posted on who exactly it was that stole our funds, as the details will be uploaded to the councils website "shortly." That's right, prime your petrol bombs, we'll know soon enough who to strike... *Cue Insane Laughter*

Note: The Cultural Development Coordinator is actually a pretty cool guy. He's obviously a creative type, but he's stuck in a beauracratic hell-hole... and his signature kinda looks like a graffiti 'tag.'



"All I want is the answer to one simple question before I run screaming back to the bughouse.
Is this real or isn't it?"